Here we are again. We come here every 8 to 12 weeks and we wait for the MRI results to declare what the future holds. Like some strange version of groundhog’s day, if we see a shadow, there will be 8 more weeks of winter. If it’s all clear, then we are blessed with 8 weeks of spring. Until of course, the cycle begins again, waiting for the doctors to tell us what the mighty MRI has to say.
I know it really isn’t something to be flippant about, Joel’s MRIs are important; they dictate his treatment and early detection has prevented many disastrous outcomes. It’s just that I also know that we will have MRIs in our lives for the rest of Joel’s life. No matter what point of life Joel is in, my heart will face the same challenge.
Yes, the MRIs are critically important, but God’s word is still more important. We have had MRIs declare doom over Joel and then watched as God declared life over Joel. We have had so many clear MRIs in a row that we were ready to declare “It is finished,” but the whole time God knew the fight was just beginning. I still wait for the day when the results of the MRI do not sway my heart in the least because I am so much more in tune with the only voice that matters, God’s voice, speaking over my son, whom He loves. That day may never come, but I will have lots of opportunities to practice the “Be still, and know” that I long to perfect. Every eight weeks, like clock work, I get to decide who to listen to, and on the rare days where we get a totally clear report, with no caveats or little things to keep an eye on, the joy is that much sweeter, and the resting is so much easier.
So, we sit and wait, for the doctors to tell us how to feel. In just a few short hours our lives will change again, but hopefully we will remember that God always gets the final say.


There is one comment for this post.

  1. Megan K on May 8, 2012 10:48 am

    Thank you for sharing your heart here. We are praying with you and for you today. (and most every other day too)

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