It has been an exhausting few days.  I am physically worn out from all the work we’ve done to be ready to go home.  I’m emotionally worn out from all the waiting and uncertainty.  Ryan is drained from spending three days almost exclusively in a hospital bed holding Joel, who is both needy and not really there at the same time.  We are so ready to be home, but if I’m honest, I’m dreading tomorrow and all the travel we’ll be doing.  It will be the first time Joel has been out from under hospital supervision since Wednesday, and we will be traveling to an airport, flying, and getting back to our home.  I’m usually pretty good about not worrying in advance about things that might not happen, but I can’t quit wondering what we would do if things became difficult on the flight home.  I’m not just worried about Joel not breathing, but I’m also worried about how agitated he gets when he’s not comfortable and when he doesn’t get what he wants.  I worry about him having to sit in his own seat for take off and landing.  I worry about too many things, forgetting so quickly that no matter what we face tomorrow God’s grace will go before us, more than I can imagine when my imagination runs wild now.

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Joel did not get any feeds all day Wednesday, with his respiratory problems they didn’t want to risk anything going wrong.  On Thursday afternoon they started his feeds again, but then this afternoon, after they gave Joel a feed he coughed and spit up his feed through his nose.  This concerned everyone, so they stopped his feeds again and have decided just to keep him hydrated through IV fluids.  We probably won’t risk giving him feeds again on our own until we are at home under hospice care.  Hospice is already set up for us and will meet with us when we get home, and set us up with oxygen at home and medications.  So far we have only given Joel tylenol tow times during his hospital stay, but I imagine once we get home his pain medication will increase somewhat.

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We should be getting into Denver around 10pm, so hopefully we will by home between 11 and midnight.  Our van just left for Colorado, generously driven by some incredible people, who probably had no idea what they were in for, so I suspect it will arrive pretty quickly after we do.

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Please pray for endurance for us as we are both pretty physically and emotionally stressed right now.  Please pray for Joel that he would have a very easy day of travel tomorrow and that God would give him (and us) a peace that passes all understanding.

Comments

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  1. Melanie Davis on March 7, 2014 11:07 pm

    You all are on my heart and in my prayers. Praying for a good night of rest for all, stress free and safe travel. Praying Joel will be comfortable, peaceful, and enjoyable during your flight tomorrow. Praying you will feel and know God’s presence, provision, protection and peace tomorrow. May He strengthen you for your journey tomorrow and in the days ahead. Praying you would not be anxious about anything but in everything with praise and thanksgiving you will present your requests to God ….and then that peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus. Remember God’s truth that even though your body and your mind may grow weak God is the strength of your heart and your portion forever Psalm 73:26 He is with you. May you be blessed my sweet friends. In Him, Melanie Davis

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